Monday, October 8, 2012

Life lately.....

****This post is full of raw honesty of my emotions lately.  While your reading this, please don't judge me as I am just trying to get some feelings out in the air from my head and also explain my absence from blogging.  This is a long post with no pretty pictures of my family or projects, just words. I am posting this so will be in prayer for me as lately life hasn't always been fun.****

Life lately has been like a rough wooden roller coaster.....very rough and shaky, slamming you from side to side around curves.  It seems like its been one thing after another and doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Heck, I would just like a quick breather between all the craziness.  Life lately doesn't seem to be revealing this promise from above:

                                      "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. "They are
                               plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
                                                                    Jeremiah 29:11
Life lately has been full of dealing with some issues with Jeremy's dad.  Not all bad but I have had to show alot of patience that I really don't have right now.  Pregnancy hormones are truly not fun when trying to show patience. I will not go into the details of what all has been going on but please pray for me as hopefully some of these issues will be going away.  I praise God that He has brought me this far but it has not been a pretty road.  As much as I love my husband, it really bothers me with some of the ways he deals with his dad and I truly lose my patience with him which causes a fight.  Now my husband and I hardly ever seriously fight, but it seems when it comes to things with his dad its always a fight.  I never want this so I try to hold in my feelings as much as I can causing me to sometimes explode on Jeremy.  Praying seems to help but there are some issues where I feel he puts his dad's feelings over mine and that doesn't feel good.  We are working on these issues and moving forward but prayers would be appreciated in this area too. 
Life lately has been full of coming to terms with my Granny's health deteriorating quickly and knowing that sooner than I want I will be saying goodbye to her here on earth.  Along with these feelings come the guilt of not living close enough to help my parents who are her primary caregivers.  I am very thankful that I only live 3 hours away from them and have been able to go down at least once sometimes twice a month lately.  I am very thankful for a husband who understands these feelings enough to live without our boys and I for a week sometimes more so we can spend as much time as possible with my family.  I am also thankful that he has no problem working side jobs just to provide extra money for these trips.  Please pray with me that she will not have to suffer much more before she meets her Heavenly Father.  As much as my family doesn't want to let her go, we also don't want her to suffer more.
Life lately has been full of a wonderful, understanding husband, two rambunctious, growing little boys and a rapidly growing belly that will soon turn into a sweet little girl.  I LOVE my family very much and honestly wouldn't trade them for anything else in the world.  I know how blessed I am to be where I am sharing this life with them.  I just need to start taking more time and truly realizing it.  With all the busyness of life I forget how wonderful it is to be a wife and mother.  I know there are men and women out there that dream of being a husband or wife and a parent.  Along with being a wife and mother comes being VERY needed in many aspects of life which is not always a bad thing.  As my pregnancy gets further and further along, my patience runs out faster and faster.  I try my best to contain it and 'just deal' with certain everyday things but most days I don't do well.  I have shed many tears, bickered or fought with my husband over stupid, petty things, yelled at my boys too much for silly things that I think they shouldn't be doing and just generally lost my patience too much lately.  I know that God shows much grace but most days I still go to bed with so much guilt over who I was that day to my family.  Pray for me as I work on this and try to set more time aside for quality time with the Lord. 
Life lately has also been really good, exciting, new, and overwhelmingly beautiful. A few examples of the awesomeness include:
       -Jeremy and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary September 24.  It is amazing all that God has brought us through and I can't wait to see what the future holds.  I truly thank God for him and couldn't ask for a better husband.  We spent the day with our little growing family starting out the day at the baby dr having an ultrasound to check on the growth of our sweet girl.  Then it was off to lunch and walking around at the mall.  Then we took an unexpected trip to the Greenville Zoo.  It was truly a wonderful, family filled, much needed day! 
      -Jonah turned 5 Otober 2.  I truly cannot believe we have been parents for 5 years now!  I know every parent says this but I truly don't know where the past 5 years have gone.  They truly flew by.  I love seeing Jonah grow and become a little boy.  He is a handsome, smart, inquisitive, talented, art and Jesus loving little boy who is growing so fast.  He has been an awesome big brother to Tucker and I can't wait to see him with Olivia.  We were at my parents on his actual birthday so we had a party there after dinner with some friends.  The Saturday after, he had a party with our family and friends back home at Gatti Town.  He had an awesome birthday week.  He is very emotional somedays and gets his feelings hurt very easily sometimes which doesn't go well with my pregnancy hormones so I have had to repent to him more lately than ever.  But he forgives quickly and moves on without looking back.  I am so glad God blessed us with him as our firstborn child!
     -Tucker is growing and learning so much lately.  The past week we were at my parents, he started forming sentences and using please and thank you.  It is amazing to me how fast his little mind works.  He is truly a joy and hasn't had much of the terrible two's yet.  He does have a little temper and does throw a few crying fits here and there but is overall a well behaved little boy.  He has to do literally everything Jonah does which at times has been very frustrating but it has also helped him learn new things.  It is defintely true what they say about the second child learning much faster and sooner than your first.  Tucker is now sleeping in a toddler bed and that has been going well.  I have had to cut out his naptime as much as possible to get him to sleep before 11pm but it is not always successful.  If we have to do an afternoon errand or have an apt, he always falls asleep in the car.  Also if he really gets into a tv show or movie and sits still long enough, he will pass out.  I am so glad God blessed us with him as our second born child!
     -My pregnancy is going great.  I am 30 weeks and 2 days.  Olivia is growing perfect and is measuring a few days ahead of what she should be.  Her heartrate is usually around 140 which is perfect.  At our last ultrasound a few weeks ago, the ultrasound tech said she has really long legs.  LOL.  I can definitely tell she is growing lately since her movements have gotten really aggresive lately.  She is already head down.  I can't wait until I get to see her little sweet face soon! I am so thankful she is growing like she is supposed to be and is truly healthy.  I can't wait to have a little girl! I will be having 2 baby showers in the next few weeks, one in Summerville and one here, and I am so excited for all the little girl stuff!!!!
Life lately hasn't been the prettiest or the happiest all the time but I know that God is still in control and He sees all that I/we are going through.  He has a plan for all this and it will show itself one day.  I am hopeful that brighter days are coming with the holidays coming up and Olivia due in just about 10 weeks.  I hope that things start to settle down a little so we can catch our breaths before her sweet arrival.  I am holding on to the above verse and many others like:
      -"I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely." Psalm 63:8
      -"Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalm 37:24
      -"For I hold you by your right hand--I, the Lord your God.  And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid.  I am here to help you." Isaiah 41:13
      -"Don't be afraid, for I am with you.  Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."  Isaiah 41:10
Thank you sweet friends for taking the time to read my words and for praying with me.  I am not perfect and if I ever claim to be please correct me! Even though these past few months have been mostly tough, I can still feel God's presence surrounding me.  I know that everyone goes through these times of turmoil and sometimes they seem never ending but God will prevail if you hold fast to him.  Even though it may not always feel like it, He is always there and never leaves. Let me know if there is anything I can pray for in your life. 


  1. Aww Tiff, I am so sorry you are going through so much right now. Praise God that you do still see the good though. I pray for you and your beautiful family. The Lord is always with you and will watch over your grandmother. I hope the struggle gets better for all of you and that the pregnancy continues to go well. you have two adorable boys and a beautiful little girl on the way! Love you and please know if you ever need to talk, vent, or anything else you can call me! Hope everything gets better for you! Know you are in my thoughts and prayers!

    1. Thank you Brandi! I know it will get better this is just a tough season. Thanks girl. Praying for you and your wonderful family too! Love you!

  2. So brave of you to share all you're going through and I just have to say: you are not alone!!! Life is crazy here too and it's hard sometimes to hold onto the Lord's promises. I love the verses you are clinging to--God is clinging to you!! Sending prayers for you and your family and for God's love to surround you.

    1. Thank you so much Joyeful! Life really does throw us some crazy loops lately but I am so thenkful to have a Heavenly Father who cares and is always there for us.Thank you for your prayers for our family and know I am praying for yours as well.